the village neurotic.

a special strain.

Don’t write when it moves you—that’s a loser. Try to make it habitual, even if you just start with 15 minutes a day, two pages a day. Make it such a part of your routine that not doing it makes it a stranger. You have to be willing to write badly. You can’t say, “I’m going to write habitually,” and it’s going to be good. It’s unpleasant to write badly, but it’s much more important show up on a regular basis so that you’re there when the good stuff comes.

Until I was 30, I dated only boys. I’ll tell you why: Men scared the sh*t out of me. Men know what they want. Men own alarm clocks. Men sleep on a mattress that isn’t on the floor. Men buy new shampoo instead of adding water to a nearly empty bottle of shampoo. Men make reservations. Men go in for a kiss without giving you some long preamble about how they’re thinking of kissing you. Men wear clothes that have never been worn by anyone else before.

i had a dream last night that he was leaving me and wouldn’t give a reason. in the dream i was devastated but held in what happened for days, refusing to acknowledge the loss to anyone.

it woke me up and i sat up in bed letting the vividness of the dream dissipate until i was convinced that all was well and i hadn’t lost him. i kept upright until i felt secure that i could fall back asleep and wouldn’t drop right back into the same dream. it’s been a long time since i’ve had someone in my life i was terrified to lose.